All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize