high people should be assigned attendants
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
it's like heaven, but drunker
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
