anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Come share oat with me in your robe
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
