I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
