Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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