You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
