Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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