I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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