so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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