we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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