I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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