just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
