Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
