i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Randomize
