after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i wish my penis had a tongue
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
