watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
