That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
