I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
