Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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