Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
