Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
What a dumb baby whore.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize