There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
