you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
