Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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