It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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