Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
