she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
he thought i was a dude.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
