Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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