Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
