I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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