You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
