You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
