This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
