jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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