She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
