no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
