I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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