10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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