my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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