can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
