Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize