we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
