It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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