I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
