I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
