We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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