How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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