Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
