He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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