What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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