i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
