OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
