they need to just BURY HIM!
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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