I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
