Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
