I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
