OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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