Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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