I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
mondays should just be called national damage control day
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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