The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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