i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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