I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
