Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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