I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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