Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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