Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize